Making Time For Old Friends

     How do we make time in our lives for old friends? The question is not "do we make time" it's more a matter of how and when we re-connect with those who knew us when we were younger. It is not something we can shirk without leaving ourselves open to experiencing feelings of loneliness and regret. The loneliness is obvious but it is the regrets we feel which are usually less well understood and tend to linger far longer than they might.

       When we gather with old friends we invariably recollect and tell of past experiences. This act in and of itself offers a way of providing "perspective" on the problems of the present. This indulging in memories and attempts to recapture the past become habits, if we are lucky, as we grow older. Though as youngsters the site of my parents and their friends sitting outside around a picnic table well past dark in the summertime, long after a the coals from the BBQ had become embers, always made me wonder what they were doing. Their usual response was that they were talking. For someone as active as myself I couldn't fathom what they could talk about for so long and why they wouldn't instead want to join us for some late night discovery of the neighborhood or the schoolyard next door. All they would say was that I would understand when I was older. Now that the time they sagely predicted has arrived, and age has shown me the wisdom I couldn't fathom as a child, what they were doing makes perfect sense to me now. There is truly nothing I like better than to gather with old friends to reminisce. I take a special pleasure these days when the age old question presents itself as to what we adults are doing. I am now able to tell the inquisitive child who might dare ask of our doings, "that we are talking." These same kids who casually enter into and leave our conversations quite like busboys at a restaurant now give me the same quizzical look I gave my parents. Hopefully, they will remember these nights and pass this bit of wisdom down to their children. More importantly, I hope they see the intelligence and the possibility for creativity which a gathering of old friends provides to all the participants. I trust they will achieve this insight and understand the transformational power that goes along with finding time in our lives for old friends.