Friday, June 25, 2010

Fathers and Daughters


Reprinted from http://watchingthegame.typepad.com/my-blog/
by Judy Van Sickle Johnson


"It's not even a complete sentence.   No command or question, no declarative statement, no imperative verb, no main verb at all.   Just a phrase with an -ing participle (maybe a gerund) which indicates some type of action ongoing between two select people.

Fathers playing catch with sons:  the lovely, familiar phrase may not be a complete sentence, but perhaps that's one reason why the words resonate poignantly for so many.

"Everybody that plays major league baseball, I promise you, had a dad that played catch with him."  That's  what Don Nava had to say last Saturday at Fenway Park after watching his son's first major-league at bat:  a grand slam delivered by 27-year-old rookie Daniel Nava on an 0-0 count.   What an amazing way to break into the big leagues after an unpromising eight-year journey; what an important moment for father and son.

My dad played catch with my brother almost every single day at lunchtime in a bygone era when kids walked home from school for their midday meal, then returned to their classrooms an hour later.  Kind of like Jem and Scout and Atticus Finch.  Like Atticus with his children, my dad made it his business to join my brother for a sit-down lunch in our small kitchen, and that quick lunch was usually followed by an unhurried game of catch in the front yard. 

The only boy in our family following three sisters, my brother went on to become an outstanding player in our town's youth league.   One spring weekend I rode a Greyhound bus home from college  just to see him pitch.  Working efficiently and striking out almost every batter in the lineup, my kid brother threw a complete game that Saturday afternoon.  Mowed them all down with blazing fastballs and pinpoint control.  He was just nine or ten years old at the time, but something about his consistency and confidence on a hill of dirt made him seem much older.  I had left home, and my youngest sibling had grown up overnight.

My dad didn't play catch with me very often.

I never really coveted or envied the baseball times that my brother enjoyed with our dad, however.  Truth be told, I didn't particularly want to play catch with my father.  There was something else I wanted even more.

I just wanted to watch the game with him - wanted to watch baseball every single night.

There we sat, just my dad and I out on the screened porch, gliding side by side in the soft breeze of a sultry July evening, listening to Ralph Kiner, Lindsay Nelson, and Bob Murphy, and watching the New York Mets.  Together we enjoyed the primitive, grainy images that brought baseball to life on a small black-and-white RCA television topped with skinny rabbit ears.

It's a miracle that we chose the Mets in 1963, but that's what we did.  A team of losers  (51-111) felt like a win to me, because I had just fallen in love with baseball, and I loved every single part of it.
When my father came home from work, the game began to assert itself as language, and that is how baseball felt most real to me.  Its magical sounds, metaphors and idioms, syntax and rhythm,  its diction both poetical and crude became integral pieces of our evening conversation, a comfortable mode of speech and thought, a language that I loved.  While learning to speak English in increasingly complex ways in grades three and four, I simultaneously acquired the splendid vocabulary of baseball, as if it were an important part of the curriculum.  The game felt like something basic and essential - as normal, natural, and necessary as speech itself. 

Baseball took shape for me as language not as sport, partly because the man who nurtured my early love of the game was a Protestant minister.  Using few words and allowing for long periods of silence, he taught me baseball, both its fundamentals and its poetry.  In my mind's ear, an amazing vocabulary became inseparably entwined with familiar Biblical passages, both deeply embedded in my young psyche, and both becoming an essential part of who I am:  "3-2 count,"  Love is patient and kind,   "in the cellar,"  my rock and my Redeemer,  "6-4-3 double play."    And the Word was made flesh ... and dwelt among us,  full of love and peace. 

Many years have passed since those summer days and nights, but I can still hear the ever-modulating commentary, the sweet sounds of a televised broadcast, a soft breeze and buzzing in the trees, the gentle words of my father out on the screened porch once upon a quiet New Jersey evening.   I was a lucky girl, because when hearing my dad's voice and when listening to the comforting music of a play-by-play on summer evenings, I knew for certain that I was safe and deeply loved.

I have always associated baseball with happiness and love.   Thank you, Dad."

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Remembering RHS Graduation 33 Years Later

It was a beautiful day and we graduates were looking grand in our long white dresses and a bouquet of red roses for the ladies, and white tuxedos for the guys. I'm told it was a rather unique way to dress in that day and age for high school graduates, and remains so to this day.

I don't remember any of the speeches or words of praise which were heaped upon us, nobody does and it probably is just as well. All the words about the life before us, the places we will visit and the things we will do truly must be done by each of us, that is, nobody can do it for you.

No amount of dire warnings or sophisticated advice is going to be heeded on an RHS Graduation day. Maybe some small part will be reflected upon much later in life, but for the most part it is all lost in the pageantry and knowledge that people who have for a long time been a significant part of our lives will be no longer. We will all make the promises to keep in touch and write addresses in one anothers Yearbooks but in the end we all know these are promises we are not intending to keep. Maybe we shouldn't try but we do in an attempt to be true to this high school self, which is quickly being transformed into an adult by an age old ritual which begins on the football field in the afternoon in front of family and friends, and ends sometime the next day after a visit to the Jersey shore.

I like the fact the entire ceremony is larger than life and gives everyone a chance to remember at least one part of it for the rest of their lives. Whether it is the country club dinner, the party at BF in the middle of the night, or the early morning swim at Graydon, there is more than enough going on that each one of us can call some small part of it uniquely our own.

Congratulations to today's RHS graduates! May your experience today be pleasurable and fill you with memories which will bring a smile to your face for a long time to come.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Ted Gehrig and Family

RHS 1980 Reunion Update

30th HS Reunion
Saturday, August 7, 2010
R

http://rhs80reunion.com/

Tickets can be purchased online via Paypal or by using a credit card  $75 each.

Monday, June 14, 2010

RHS 1970 Reunion Update

The 40th Reunion is the weekend of Oct 8th 2010


May 19th 2010
According to the class of 1970 Reunion Team: RHS 1970 40th Reunion

Things are heating up. We sent an email last week to all 268 of you for whom we have email addresses. If you did not receive it, let Irene Nagy know (gardendesign@bellsouth.net). The email created a stir of activity. 80 classmates have RSVP’d as coming. Newcomers include: Jim Stroker, Eric Scofield, Peter Rita (coming all the way from Japan), Kathleen Keating, Andy Rork, Barbara Hall, Gloria Thornton, Kathy Lauerman, and Cleveland Marsh. Susan Egerton has been found in Tenn, and is off the “missing” list. The Thompson triplets have been located (great to find them). We are sending postcards to the 451 classmates for whom we have street addresses by not emails. We are now too big for the Elks Club on Fri night Oct 8 (a good problem). We are looking for a bigger place.

Apr 6...Up to 73 classmates have RSVP'd as coming. In the last month the following have declared: Bev Florance, Christine Nienaber, Patti Staehle, Marsha Golla, Virginia Zabrinski, Denise Durvette, Kathy Baker, Susan Main. Our first teacher has RSVP'd (Don MacKay). Sandy Hawley has been found in eastern PA. This sounds weird but hopeful: we have word that Christine Armstrong is not dead (pls contact us if you have info).

In April we will do a second emailing and a second post card mailing (if we don't have email address). So look for that.

Mar 6...Blogs for each Elementary School: Classmate Judy Schoneman has created a blog for Willard School classmates http://willard64.blogspot.com/. It has been so successful that we will create a blog for each Elementary School, and ask you to send photos and re-connect. We will let you know more about this.

Mar 3...Hits on reunion web site tops 1400

Mar 1...Lots going on. We continue to track down classmates, process is arduous but rewarding. Have located 4 in the last 3 weeks. Following have signed up for the reunion: Debbie Frey, Mike Augello, Bill Tobey, Jim O'Brien, Carlton Frost. Number of classmates attending now 64, total attendees over 100.

Feb 11...Anne Adams replies from Vermont that she will attend. Number of classmates attending is now 59.
Feb 9...Donna Nunley checks in from Houston. Plans to attend.
Feb 8...We updated the "Missing Grads" and the "In Memoriam" pages. Good news/Bad news: 4 classmates off the missing list...1 added to the memoriam list.
Feb 7...Got our 1,000th hit on the web site.
Feb 6...Dave Smith contacts Stan Brown. Stan RSVP's
Feb 5...Tracked down Dave Smith in Tennessee. Dave is amazed we found him. Will attend.
Feb 4...Marcia Field checks in from Columbus, OH. Plans to attend.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Pets Of Our Youth

We had the usual assortment of pets growing up. Dogs (Penny, Linda, Megan, Rover, TC) were fixtures in my life from the age of 7, and we had numerous cats (JP, Pepper and JP), one snake (no name) who escaped in the basement and we never saw again, and two gold fish (Molly and Alison).
Everyone in our family doted on the animals and when they were sick we all felt it. Animals tunnel their way into your heart and never leave your memory. It truly is hard for me to imagine living without them. The older I grow the more I understand how short the time they have with you, and that you must consciously enjoy their short stays on this planet. Maybe one day we meet again but I prefer to give my dog an extra hug just in case.

My current dog, Angus, named for the legendary butler from Upstairs Downstairs (Angus Hudson) is our pride and joy. He without fail at around 4:00 AM will cuddle up next to me with his head on my pillow for an hour of priceless sleeping time together. Being that he is a creature of routine, around 5:00 AM or so he will jump of our bed and go to his own bed for the rest of his sleep. When he next wakes up I know that it's time for the usual routine of a walk and some breakfast. He keeps us going with his persistent desires to have things his way, and we usually accommodate.  It's the the least we can do for a creature with such a short life span who gives so much and asks only that things are predictable and timely. He acts much the same as his namesake at 165 Eaton Place and we usually fall in line when the demands are in keeping with the standards he no doubt he believes he is trying to keep up.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Childhood Routines

Every family has its own unique routines. These standardized processes enable us all to know who should do what, when, in what order and how often. For example, the easiest childhood routine for me to remember involves waking up and going downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. My mother was always there to greet me, no matter how badly she might have felt. The Stay-At-Home Mom was a common institution during my childhood and the ladies took their roles very seriously. Part of my Mom's routine was to see us all off to school, and my Dad to work in NYC, with some food in our stomachs, and maybe a ride to the train station or school if the weather was particularly unpleasant outside.

I can recall the classic breakfast foods for us kids from the 1960s and 70s very clearly. There were Pop Tarts; I favored the blueberry variety made by Kelloggs. There were many imitators, and some varieties which included frosting, but nothing quite hit the spot for me like the tartness of the blueberry ones. Maybe because these are how New Jersey blueberries usually taste every June when they hit the market in their season to shine. In terms of cereal, we usually had Post Grapenuts as well as Captain Crunch. The latter had prizes in the boxes and more toys you could send away for if you saved the box tops. Grapenuts never stooped to such levels and simply stated on the box that this cereal was good for you all on its own. We kids would usually make short work of the Grapenuts claim that it was good for you by adding enough sugar to bring it into the same league of desired sweetness as a Captain Crunch style cereal.

This is not to say there weren't things my mother offered which were less sugar laden. I can recall the introduction of Kiwifruit in the early 1970s and how terrible the skin tasted but the fruit inside was delicious and extremely exotic for that time period. We also consumed a tremendous number of oranges and grapefruits. To this day I can't eat a grapefruit for love or money because of all the yellow ones I ate as a child. This sounds funny to people who know me as a "Foodie" who prides himself on having a diverse pallet. Oranges I am less put off by but usually consume them only in juice.

On the weekends my Mom would usually go all out and make us waffles or pancakes, with bacon or sausage. A goodly amount of Vermont syrup would accompany these offerings so as we wouldn't miss the sugar rush of our Monday through Friday breakfasts.

All of this can be summed up by the mantra of the time held in high esteem by Moms like mine: Do not let your family leave the house hungry. We were always filled with Milk, Juice, and something else to fill our bellies. No Stay-At-Home Mom ever wanted to hear that her children left for school without having eaten. I only remember breakfast of a sort being offered in the High School and never in the Junior High. Of course, most everyone went home for lunch in elementary school for a sandwich and milk. We also had a routine for a number of years where we would watch the TV show Jeopardy from 12:00 to 12:30 and then hightail it back to school. Good thing we lived next to Willard or our routine might have also included missing the Final Jeopardy answer.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Saturday Mail

Does anybody get excited about the arrival of mail any longer? If you are like me, the prospect of losing US Mail delivery on Saturday will probably only produce a yawn. It's not that I don't enjoy a letter from family or friends, it's just the custom is, to quote Shakespeare, "honored more in the breach than the observance."

I can clearly remember my freshmen year in college writing plenty of letters and receiving a goodly number in return. My high school pals and I were still feeling close even though the distances between us grew wider with each passing day.

I don't remember the exact date when mail became little more than magazines, catalogs, and bills but people mostly stopped using the US Mail for correspondence around the same time they discovered email. Bills have even stopped appearing at many homes with the advent of online bill paying. Catalogs still appear with regular frequency though nothing like the old Sears catalog in terms of size and the anticipation it used to produce in its recipients.

Even cards at Christmas time have seemingly become less important, too. I am as guilty as many folks are of writing only a short hello along with a happy holidays on our Christmas cards, which doesn't truly count as a letter in the traditional sense.

I suppose it is only a matter of time before Saturday mail delivery will be eliminated on economic grounds. There will no doubt be a flurry of mild protests and many short pieces on the evening news regarding the loss of this service, but in the end it won't matter much to people. We have become so used to the instantaneous communication of the Internet that the loss of snail mail delivery on Saturday won't leave much of a void in most people's lives. The only people who will miss it will be the postal workers themselves who might have been earning overtime by working or the part timers who only worked on Saturdays.

Sadly to say Saturday mail delivery is one of those quaint ideas which future generations will ponder for a moment and then get back to all their multiple channels of communication, which never shut down for holidays or are limited by the cessation of a Saturday delivery.

Friday, June 04, 2010

4th of July Fireworks


Times have changed a bit in terms of the size and scope of the annual Ridgewood 4th of July Fireworks show. The tickets cost $5 in advance and $10 the night of the show, with no refunds. There is also the unmistakable 21st century drama of a security search of your belongings as you enter Vets Field.

Admittedly, the show is bigger than it was in the 1960s and 70s and our society has become much more litigious, consequently the event is much less spontaneous and under a tighter control. I can recall leaving the parents who volunteered to drive the neighborhood kids to Vets and simply roaming around the perimeter of Vets and Graydon with my childhood pals. We simply had a grand old time looking at things out of their usual context, in this case at dusk, and only stopping when we heard the opening rounds of the fireworks presentation. We would then stop whatever we were doing and watch with wide eyed wonder at the explosions of the pyrotechnic devices. When the show was over and the final cries of wonder from the attending crowd had been uttered, we would find our adult supervisors for the ride back home. I have no idea who paid for the show in those days but we all got our money's worth and then some.